horseplay ensued

It started -- as most near-disasters do -- innocently enough: A plan hatched a few weeks before for three friends and a newly acquired Expedition to head out of the flat Delta and into the north Mississippi hills on some family property to shoot at things after Saturday classes in Oxford. Things like cow patties and clay pigeons. A little target practice and some skeet shooting with a variety of firearms.

As most plans do, it morphed and grew as the day's classes dragged on; soon it was eight people, three vehicles, and an excellent lesson on the differences among firearms, general firearm safety, a guitar solo I wish I could remember, and some preparatory target practice. (Note here that I was shooting straight: hit my targets on the first shot with both the shotgun and the pistol.)

And then: Horseplay ensued.

Time to set off the moving targets. Who'll shoot first? Being older, female, wanting to play those cards, and having demonstrated pretty good skills, I jumped up. But I was to be thwarted by a Fram. The next thing I knew my arms were pinned to my side and I was running backward as Fram was running forward on wet slippery ground. Just as I was thinking this was not really a sustainable plan, I saw the ground coming toward me.

BONUS. Extra Credit DOK 3 Question: Explain why snowshoes are more successful than crutches or high-heels when walking across fragile snow.

I have only one bruise on my body. Fram has none. The bruise I have is on my left hip. The impact of our combined weight -- admittedly only about 260 or so --  was taken by my left hip.

That would be the hip that's broken.

Realized pretty quickly I was hurt, and couldn't stand. I remember having my arms over Fram's and Tabitha's shoulders, then the next thing I knew I was stretched out quite comfortably across the back seat of the Expedition.  Relieved at not having said anything embarrassing or wet myself while out cold, I agreed -- after much persuading -- to stop by the hospital. Perhaps some Vicodin and Flexeril would be nice before heading back into the Delta and surely we would stop at Chamoun's Rest Haven as I usually do for Kibbe and grape leaves along the way home. Molly supplied a large ice bag, and with Beethoven's 7th blasting Austin led the convoy to First Baptist Hospital in Oxford.

Scooted myself out of the truck, into a wheelchair, and suffice it to say that the whole waiting room adventure deserves a blog entry of its own. You'll hear the stories someday. There had been carpool arrangements involved, so we ended up as a small crowd watching the UNC/Louisville game, eating Sonic, and generally disturbing the peace. Clearly the theory of a natural release of endorphins following traumatic injury is true.

Fast forward through a hellish night: Once the X-ray tech torqued my leg to get me out of the wheelchair and I felt the bones grind, I believed it might actually be broken. Endorphins gone. Gimme the morphine. Tabitha spent probably 30 grueling minutes helping me carefully take off my jeans and my first-issue Daring Fireball t-shirt. She and Fram both stayed by my ER bed, holding my hands, patting my head, and coaching my yoga breathing until I was finally stable enough to be moved to my room. Dani bought me a new phone charger. Lisa gathered up everything I might need from home for the 5-day stay. Tab took a day off to bring things up to Oxford. So many people did so many nice things. People in uniforms drugged me and tied me up in traction.

Went into surgery Sunday morning: three screws and a washer. (A washer?) Dr. Lamar gives me about a 2/3 success rate on this repair. Success being the blood supply to the ball of my hip is not compromised and the ball doesn't die. If not: Full hip replacement in about a year. Plus I'm thinking that when your surgeon's name is the same as the street the hospital is on, you're in pretty good hands.

Hospital stay is a blur. People came to visit. Thank you. Sorry you had to look at all the various fluid bags and tubes running in and out of me. The food was good. A nurse threw all my flowers away.

Hospital etiquette tip: Don't pull your sheet over your face to block sunlight when napping during the nurses' shift change. It tends to freak them out when they walk in and see you like that.

Home Thursday. David and Michael carried me up my back stairs like Cleopatra on a porch chair.

Emily will stay here to care for me until I can get myself into and out of bed and maybe use a cane instead of a walker so I can carry things like plates of food. In-home physical therapy three times a week. House-bound until April 25 when I'll find out whether I'll teach again this school year. [Reality check update: Probably not. But will be able to do my MTC work in June.] Still have some minor vision problems in my right eye from general force of impact (no direct hit to my head) and am now an expert at giving myself subcutaneous blood-thinner injections.

Those of you around (who are still reading) I'm always home, so stop by. It helps the time pass even better than drugs. The back door is unlocked -- just holler when you come in.

UPDATED: May 8 posted here. Includes a cool X-ray.